Listen up playas, meet tommorow against Canton. In case you didn't know, the Chiefs are all douchebags and give a bad reputation to all native american tribes out there, almost as much so as last years' Atlanta Braves. Anyways, I'm swimming the 5. That's right, 20 bitchin lengths of that damn pool. I normally swim 1/10 of that. By my math, if I go a :25. in the 50, that times ten is 2:50; a new world record. So, if you want to see history made in swimming, I suggest coming to the meet at 7. I hope you didn't believe me about the w.r., if you did you obviously know nothing about sports in general. But whatever, the point is the 500 sucks, big time. I swam it once as a freshman, and since then I have somehow been able to dodge the elephant tracer round that is the 5 hundo. Tommorow that bullet will hit me square in the face, and my chances of surviving will be quite slim. If you were planning to come to the meet, don't bother; we'll win by at least 120 and I'll swim my worst event. So if you were planning on flying in to see me swim, well I hope you bought flight insurance.
In more important news, Sylvester Stalone is back with RAMBO. The one time Chuck Norris who sadly is now more washed up than Gary Coleman is back for a way too unnecessary conclusion to what would have been remebered as a great series. With that being said, will I still see it? Of course, the midnight showing no less.
But anyways, I plan to Rambo my 5 hundo. It's a verb now, spread it. Word.
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If you knew me, you would understand
5 comments:
so you should take a maximum of 5 breaths. good luck.
I took a few more than 5 breaths, but a 5:16 speaks for itself. Northville alot, Chiefs not so much.
johnny alt swam the 5 hundo once in high school. after about 3 hundred meters he looked like a dead body that was caught in slow tide dragging him from one side of the pool to the other. not fun. good luck?
av, good to have you on board. Luckily the meet wasn't at Canton, otherwise we would have to deal with the sharks there. The team is convinced that behind these weird lattice walls in the pool is a giant freshwater shark that has most likely already killed Samuel L. Jackson. If I was attacked I too would be floating like a dead body, although the shark would be way worse off (dead). Jim, did they have that crazy wall back in the glory years of Northville swimming?
i think they had the wall but we pretty much ignored it and focused on things like swimming and winning the meet.
jonny alt is a pussy
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