steph's b-day

After the key disaster, it was pretty fun to go to my friend Stephanie's party. I was thinking it would be another semi-lame party, a couple people there with a boom box and chips, but this was way cooler. First of all, the music was reallllly loud, and there was a real latin dj playing latin music. Our Venezuelan buddy knew all the lyrics and was going crazy, I laughed, but Noel was working the ladies. Anyway, they had a giant buffet too, including chicken fingers (my 2nd favorite food), pizza (my 3rd favorite), oreos, fruit (whatever), brownies, and other things that make you hungry just thinking about them. Anyway, we danced for a long time, and then hung out on the patio alot too. Kyle and I almost fought with the Tiki torches, but decided to act responsibly and fight with non-burning sticks instead. Just kidding, but there was a bon fire later. It was the best though when Lee crowd surfed for like a minute. It was awesome, and then Tripp led a congo line upstairs, through the kitchen, out the garage door, and then back down to the patio and into the basement again. I got my groove on, and I cranked that Soulja Boy. Thanks Stephanie. Word.

bitch.

So on Friday night I met up with some friends at Hillside Middle School, and it was all cool until I locked my key (as in only set) in the trunk. I felt like such a- no, words cannot describe how stupid I felt. Well, that didn't stop me from having a fun night, but it did stop a much needed homework day. This is how it went down starting Saturday morning:
10:00- arrive at Audi dealership with VIN number to hopefully get another set of keys. The guy that worked there was cool, and he seemed like he being sincere, but I wasn't paying attention to that, I was staring at his mustache.

10:30- Arrive at NPD to hopefully have an officer help me get into the car. The office wasn't open, and I didn't have the balls to call 911, so I did nothing.

11:00-11:30- Get home and search 'the net' for a good locksmith and get some breakfast.

12:00- Get to Hillside to meet the Locksmith

12:30- Still waiting for Locksmith

1:00- Still waiting

1:20- Leave hillside to go to church to help with a clothing drive

3:00- Head home to find another non-douchebag locksmith

3:30- Go to meet locksmith at Hillside

4:00- Come home because he didn't show up

5:00- Meet the third locksmith at Hillside- a weird old man in a sweat suit with a limp in a handicaped van. But at least he showed up, that's good. He tried to jimmy the lock, but that didn't work. So he pried the door and slipped one of those blood pressure arm things in the now present space. Then we used a 'specialized' de-bent hanger to open the door handle. The alarm went off like four different time, but we were in. All fixed, or so I thought. For some reason, the power locks wouldn't work, so I couldn't open the trunk. So I grabbed the guy's pocket knife and went to work. You know that ski/body over 6' holder extension that goes from the trunk through the back seat? Well mine now has a hole in it. I was lucky my huge armspan could reach the keys on the other side.

5:45- Drive Volvo home and ride my bike back to Hillside

6:15- Get home with Audi and bike and keys.

So young padawan, my advice to you is to not lock your keys in your trunk. It sucks. While at home between my stops, I checked out Youtube to see how to break into the car myself, and there was this thing with a tennis ball that worked, but it must have been staged because I couldn't do it. Anyway, this day was pretty much pointless and a waste of my time, but I got to go to a party later, and I picked up some KanYe, its pretty good.

That's my car, the keys are inside, I am not, and that's the hole I cut in the bag.

eye of the tiger

Today I went down to Grandma's house with one goal. Not to get scratched. Since nobody lives at the house anymore, and the cat lives by itself and doesn't get the attention it needs, I decided to bring the cat over to the man cave. It was perfect, Ms. Kitty (ned) could live in the man cave and my adjoining bedroom and hang out with me. Louis would get the rest of the house, and we would try to keep them seperated. Louis is the sweetest cat around, but also the deadliest, and we would rather not make the two of them meet on Louis' (my) turf- get the picture? But I digress. The cat was under Grandma's bed, no suprise there, but he (she) seemed happy to see me. Before he would either run or hiss, and hiss loud, but not this time. So I loaded him up and came back to the house, and carefully snuck him (her) upstairs so Louis wouldn't know. Ned loved it up there, and he wandered around, playing with me, and sorta-purring, a big step for such a previously bitchy cat. I set him up with some food, water, and nice flanel sheets, my ultimate goals in life. After a while he crawled under the loveseat and just hung out there for a while....a long while. A peculiar spot considering the view of the entire backyard, flannel sheets, a bed, multiple chairs, and my favorite, the beanbag at his declawed finger tips. But it doesn't matter, because for some unforeseen reasons, the cat must be taken back to Grandma's house and probably to the Humane Society. So let me take this opportunity to ask, no plead, that someone take in this cat as their own. You can even name it whatever you want, I did. I'm sure a cat would be great in Montana, on White Pines Dr., or at Aunt Carole's house, or at any other for that matter. Don't be a d-bag, he (she) is a cool cat. I named her Ned because I think that is an awesome cat name and its sorta like Chris or Alex, non gender discriptive, but not really on second thought. Come on, it's just a little cat.

my family's crazy

In case you don't know, I have a niece named Katie. She's pretty cool, and she totally feels the same way about me. Now, Mike, Julie, and shorty came over for dinner on Sunday, and while Mike and I ditched cleanup duty and played ping-pong in the basement, Katie dug into the closet and grabbed everything within her puny armspan. You can figure out the rest.

goal heard 'round the world

Today was just like "Independence Day". I spent all day trying to figure out how to mount a sucessful counter attact against the invading aliens (teachers) at school to no avail. But then, with the help of my teamates, we launched a major offensive on the mothership (Northville Rec. Soccer Team #2). That's right, we finished this war and evil in general on the pitch. It wasn't pretty, but we got the job done. We even started yelling spanglish to our latin contingent of warriors when they played sucky. We didn't wave any flags this time, but we had them just in case (Venezuela, Italy and Pirate). We partied harder than Aerosmith, before they quit getting high, with sparklin' grape juice after the game. It gets in your hair it turns sticky, but its a good feeling to know you defeated evil once and for all. Our trophies were weak, but so was our opponent- no pain no gain I guess.

Our Venezuelan/Mexican/Vietnamese contingent

I told you we party hard, Douchebag refs

We felt bad for Jelso, so we let him on the team. Ohh, and our team cheer before the match- " 1, 2, 3 Get Some!". Not that we need to cheer for that, like I said, just like Aerosmith. Remeber the name. Word.

catzilla

I came to a grim reality yestrday. My cat is a criminal: he kills stuff. And he's good at it too. If there was a way, I'm sure Louis could figure out how to kill a rock. I've noticed he starts out small each summer, like a killing training camp. He begins with some mice and moles, Mom hates moles. But then he moves up to chipmunks. We used to have them all over the place, but I see only the occasional straggler that Louis simply hasn't noticed yet. I mean, he's so good, he wouldn't even get skunked a little bit, and he's so fast, an opossum wouln't even have time to play dead, he just would be dead- no playin' there. But now, from my autopsy of latest victim, Louis has moved on, yet again, to rabbits. If he keeps up this pace he'll be up to coyote, and then whitetail in a matter of weeks. Now let me remind you that Louis weighs a staggering 13 pounds of muscle. Thats like a really fat newborn (human). But if Louis went at me, I'm not sure I could stop those claws and teeth. Of course, If I had a blunt weapon, like a Louisville, I could take him, but if he attacked me in my sleep I'd be in trouble. Big trouble. Anyway, Mom gave him some Chicken of the Sea the other day, so maybe the increase in protien/amino acids has acted as some kind of HGH/'I'm mad all the time' pills. The pictures below are quite graphic, and just a warning, if you look into Louis' eyes you will turn to stone. Don't let his cute looks fool you, he takes no mercy-none.

owls, elephants, and tv, oh my!

The P.I.M.P. club trasformation is really coming along now. I took the aquarium out yesterday, and what went in it's place you ask? How about a sweet T.V. Flatscreen, plasma- no, but it's in my room and I love it. Now, how my room is the only one in the house that doesn't have cable running through it is beyond me, but maybe its a kind of divine intervention. Probably. No big deal though, cause I can just play some 360 until God decides I'm worthy. And, I also put a bean bag up there. I used it to conveniently cover up some cords that were sticking out, so I hope it's not flammable. I'm thinking of where I want to put the musket that my cousin left at our house after the gun raffle (yes, my family had a gun raffle), I'm thinking above the doorway- in plain sight for intimidation and easy acess. I also found some cool elephant hat hangers and a wooden owl. The owl loves to perch on top of the xbox, and that's cool with me so long as he doesn't poo on it. Speaking of birds that perch on things...

Yesterday was 'national talk like a pirate day'. If you walked around with Paulie on your shoulder at home, good for you. But if you dressed up like a pirate as many students at the NHS did- I have one thing to say. Why didn't you call me? But really though, I hope everyone took full advantage of the blessing to talk like a pirate and at least have some reason for it. Word.

I love the woods

This weekend I was walking through the woods. It's pretty cool what you can see if you really look around. For example, I snuck behind John Kitna's house and had a peek at his pool. More importantly was the dragonfly that I saw. It buzzed me, and after my initial shock, I could appreciate it. If you're still at the 'all bugs are gross' stage in life- grow up. Anyway, I contined through the woods, but forgot about bug spray. Marshy woods in the shade during summer. Shit. As the mosquitoes attacked me, I ran faster and faster with amazing agility aimlessly through open patches of shoulder high nedles and thistles. Double terd. What I didnt realize was that there were burrs all over the place. As I bent under trees and spun away from my buzzing adversary, I unknowlingly tangled myself. Sweaty, muddy, bloody, cut, itchy, really itchy, and demoralized, I came out of the woods. I didn't even see any deer or coyotes, so my saga was pointless. I still love the woods. (the mantis was from up north)

victorian festival 2k7

That's right, this past weekend Northville had the holy grail of small town carnies. What makes this one sooo delicious, you ask? The moon bounces. All two of them. I know what you're thinking- you're a sixteen year old high school student and you're moon bouncing?!? Well screw you douchebag. Moon bounces are sweet. My friends and I showed up just as they stopped selling more tickets, so there was no line for the bounce. I asked the carny, "If we're cool can we stay in there a while?". He mumbled someting and opened the net door- I took that as a yes. Seven of us got in a moon bounce and went at it. We did flips and fought each other in there. Awesome. In addition, I almost was hit with a foul ball from the victorian baseball game, almost got into a fight with middle schoolers, and almost bought one of those meat on a stick things. I really didnt want to be seen eating meat on a stick. It's a little suggestive. Anyway, only 358 days until it returns next year. Can't wait.

'wreck' soccer

I had my first coaching job last Saturday, coaching a bunch of high school punks, my friends. Maybe coaching is the wrong word, since we didn't even pay attention to the one play I designed, or listened to me when I screamed spread out. Any how, we barely managed to pull out a 9-2 destruction of the other team. It got pretty chippy in the second half, and I let the ref know whats up. He is one of my classes at school, I forget which one. That's what makes 'wreck' soccer so fun, you know everyone- and when you wreck someone, you get mad street cred. So far I am 1-0 (with insane street cred), and thinking of retiring batting a thousand. Or I'll go to another game to be the only high school coach ever given a red card for shouting explitives at the oposing coach and goalie. I'm still debating. Its all about determination in Northville Rec Soccer, and not letting ANYONE put your calculator in gree jello. Word.

the village

Part of my english assignment was to watch M. Night Shaymalan's The Village. We had to compare the movie to the book, Brave New World. This would have been a cool assignment if the movie hadn't been so scary. Maybe I'm just a baby, or maybe it's because the only other scary movie I saw was Alien (I'll never think of Sigourney Weaver the same way again), but that movie was freaky. First of all, woods are always scary. Same with people who talk funny. Ohh ya, and so is a crazy soundtrack to a film with "creatures" that have spines sticking out of their back, huge claws, and pig faces, and big red robes. Put it all together, and you get alien popping of a torso times ten. Seems to me like I should start carrying a Glock in the woods, or at least a sharp stick. I hope my nightmares don't suck. Lions 28, Vikings -4. (the creatures were not Lions D-Lineman, they were, however, big and angry.)

no more fish

Sadly, I was forced to move my two clownfish from my ailing aquarium to my Uncle Dan's. Yes, they now reside in 5th Avenue in Royal Oak, a hip place for a pair of fish. Just because I never named them doesn't mean I didn't love them. Good luck my small friends. You will not be forgotten.

the wait is over

The suspense is over. That mystery player we got from the Cubs for Crazy Craig was finally revealed. His name- CLAY something. Last name doesn't really matter. If he is anything like me when I played baseball, he'll strike out two and then hit the next batter in the head. oops. Finally, an athelete from my generation whose first name is Clay. Yes! In reality, he gave up like four runs in one inning during that first game of the texas double header. Still, he's very promising. Hopefully he has the spirit of a real tiger- go for the jugular all the time.

labor day

This past labor day, we were up north and getting ready to leave for home. Instead of helping pack the car, I went down to the lake and made it look like I was doing something important- I was fishing. But this time was different, cause I caught one. First cast too, I totally wasn't expecting it, and then BAM. You can't tell from the picture, but the fish was actually like four feet long. It was probably a world record or something, no big deal though. With the fish still in the lake, I ran up to the house and got the hole family and my camera. Foolishy I let my mom take pictures, and she snapped one of my be-hind, and I was squinting in my trophy photo.Like I said, 4 feet baby- Dad and Katie can't believe it either.

anyone have a mini fridge?

I have started to redo my room. Not that it really matters, since none of my friends go up there, but if they do, watch out. Let's just say I will have to keep my mini-fridge-to-be fully stocked at all times. In addition to a sweet lamp Mom got at Cosco, I can blast my Vanilla Ice in my new (has been sitting in the attic for years) sound system. I strategically positioned my two speakers to aim in both ears while sitting at the desk doing homeworking for maximum distraction.

In addition, I also have a sweet couch, again new to me but old to the rest of the house. It's actually a loveseat, so I hope it lives up to its name. The "Lover" is really ugly so I put my comforter on it. Rocky also approves of my plaid foot stool/Halo party stool. I'm planning on getting one of our 23 tv's in the house in my room and the xbox. If a man cave could be upstairs, this would be it. I found some "wood" floor for $1.29 a square foot in the Ikea catalog. Oh, ya.

I was sitting in my English class this morning when a girl sitting next to me told me they had planned on teepeeing my house this weekend. This came from Christine, who has a broken leg and a big cast, so I was a little skeptical that the claim was all talk. She finally convinced me that they were about to launch the attack when they remembered I had a bad knee, so aborted in order to prevent me from re-injuring myself cleaning up TP. As it turned out at lunch, I heard two of my other friends had been tp'd that night by the same crew. We brainstromed for about 30 minutes on how to best get 8 girls back for an attempted and two crappy tp jobs. Everything from slashing tires, to seran-wrapping cars, to making your mama jokes. We are having a meeting tommorow night to discuss the ideas/who we sacrafice if we get caught. All I can say- revenge is a bitch.

WTFs up with UM

In case you have been living in the woods, out of earshot of frustrated and dying fans, the University of Michigan just dropped its first two games of the season to Appalacian State and Oregon. Needless to say, a Big 10 team should not be beaten by a school of 13,000, or a team named the ducks, unless they are the mighty ducks, in which case we all know what would have happened. I'm not sure how many potential U of M future students are second guessing wether or not Michigan is the place for them, but I'm one of them. Go green. (2-0)

Yellowstone 2K7

In case you haven't heard, I went to Yellowstone this summer. I know what you're thinking- cool, he saw Old (and boring) Faithful and saw some elk, just like evey other nubie. Well back off, because I didn't even want to see Old Farty.

My brother Jim and I went camping (in a tent) in the backcountry. We even had to watch a dope "run from Grizzlies as fast as you can if they stalk you" movie. Once the ranger gave us our permit, we drove to where we started our hike. The hike was supposed to be about 5 miles, nothing I couldn't handle. That is, until we got lost. Somehow we ended up on a game trail, the same ones those Grizzlies that we ought to be avoiding use. We ended up in a river canyon, and instead of backtracking, we decided to head up the canyon. I still can't understand how we made it. Once there, we caught tons of trout. Awesome.

The real action happened on the hike out though. As we were coming around a blind turn, I practically tripped over a big, full grown, male bison. Luckily, he barely bothered to lift his head and look at us as he seeminly napped in the middle of the trail. We decided we should probably hike around the haus. So that's what we did, and when we came back to the trail, what did we see? A huge bull moose. It sorta grunted at us and it totally smelled me, probably cause I practicaly shit my pants. It was awesome seeing these totally foriegn animals so close up. Good thing we didn't get into a buffalo, moose sandwich on the trail. I could have taken the moose though.

In case you were wondering, there was buffalo/elk poop all over the place.

Ohh.....now I remeber why school sucks

I got to school at 6:30 this morning mostly to figure out this "locker" that they tell me I have. Assuming it would take me twenty minutes to find my locker and at least another twenty to open it, I would have just enough time to make it to my 1st hour. This whole thing took me less than five. I was left to walk around the hallways and try to not look like a total loser for over half an hour. Oh man.

My first class was MTL. It's an honors English class that has way too much reading. I understand it is English. I understand that reading is important. But sixty (60!) pages a night with one to two page reading logs is whack as crack. I would like to thank my few (1) readers for their prayers last night about my teachers not being douchebags. So far they aren't.
Tommorow I have a whole new set of classes since we are on block scheduleing. It should be alot easier and less gut-wrenching in general.

I think I'm allegic to redundancy, since whenever we went over the sylabus is any class I started sneezing/having a runny nose. I'll bring kleenex next time. Word.

school tommorow...really?

Word on the street in northville is that school starts tommorow, what a bummer. It's about seven o'clock now, so I figure I have another couple of hours to get school supplies, make a lunch, and pray to God my teachers aren't all douchebags. In case you weren't aware of the NHS (Northville High School) new torture guidelines, students are no longer allowed to carry backpacks into the classroom. This will make texting, iPod video watching, cheating on tests, and finding ways to distract ourselves from the lesson plan much harder; but on the flipside, in the event of a fire, most of the overcrowded classes will be able to evacuate at least half the students without the fear of tripping.

I haven't woken up at six o'clock in weeks, so tommorow morning will....suck. I guess that's just the way it is. Maybe we'll set up volleyball in the parkinglot after school if the band lets us. Speaking of the band, halftime really was gametime, seeing as how your consistently overhyped mustangs blew a 13-0 lead to Churchill in a matter of minutes after the start of the second half last thursday. The band was sweet though, as usual. Props to John, Tripp, Johnson for a sweet halftime show, and props to the NHS football team too, it was a good loss.

I hope your tuesday won't suck as badly as mine does. By the way, "Joe Dirt" was on Comedy Central monday, hope you saw it. Also by the way, that sexy peice of spandex was last year's team suit, owww! Here it goes again.