'tis the shiz

Wow. What a monday morning, beyond words. A roller coaster of emotion, ending in that all disappointing slow and steady trip back to normalcy. An email was sent out to the team on friday saying, most importantly, "NO AM practice monday". Reading this Sunday afternoon, I felt I could now put off the starting of my English project that was due today off until Sunday night. Well Sunday night comes around and I get a call from one of our captains, "ya, we have practice tomorrow morning". Shhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. I collapsed on the freezing wood floor to gather myself. It took a while, but I finally got up, finished my other junk, and went to bed, where I proceeded to roll around for about two hours thinking about how bad it is that I can't fall asleep.

4:42- I wake up and look at the alarm, frustrated that I'm going to be getting up in 3 minutes and decided to space out.

5:05- Walk across the salt and trash tundra that is the NHS parking lot in the 12 degree plus windchill heatwave.

5:22.38- While stretching on the mats, Rich says we're starting to taper. Holy Shit! Taper! Taper is the shit, its the most fantabulous time of the season. We swim virtually no distance, not very fast, and no more morning practice. This morning was the last morning practice of the season. My happiness was beyond words.

5:35- Fire alarm goes off. What the hell? Its like 2 degrees out and there's a fire? Must have been some punk ass freshman. Rich went out to find out was causing this damn annoying strobe and horn thing to disturb our practice. We continued to warm up and I thought about who I would be willing to sacrifice to the flames should we somehow not have enough room in the pool for everyone. A certain few came up, and many dumb ass freshman. We were told to "sit tight" for a second in the confusion of that early morning. He comes back five minutes later and says, "Hey, what's that hallway over there? Ya, well there's a river in it. Ya man I know, it was like a torrent coming from these broken pipes. There's no way you're having school today". While hearing about taper was great, being assured that school was going to be canceled was a step up to legendary. Everybody in the pool started yelling, thanking Jesus Christ our Savior, clapping, and in some cases even crying. It was one of the happiest moments of my life.

6:30- After finishing practice we sent a freshman out into the hallway in speedo and all to check if there were people in the halls. "Yes". Damnit, we were so close. There's a river in the middle of the damn hallway and we still have school? Shit. I needed a great shower session to relieve my stress.

6:30- 6:36- Waited for the shower (Neil) to warm up. Ohh, I know why it took so long, because all the damn water is in the hallway. Shit!

6:30-6:45- Attempt to shampoo/condit. in the ice cold turned scalding hot water. Extremely frustrating

6:46- Vented anger by killing a man

7:00- Get dressed and go to class. So close.

To make matters worse, Bob, our assistant coach was at practice today as well as Rich. This is never a good sign due to the fact that all Bob does is yell about streamlining off turns and other technical stuff like that. Needless to say as I meandered onto the deck trying my speedo and looked up to see Bob, I could only say, "aww shit, what's up Bob" "Hah, not too much Clay" He was holding a water polo ball, and I had to ask, "we playin' water polo today Bob" "Hah, nice try". It was then that I knew I had to steal Bob's ball, he was enjoying it too much. I snuck up behind him and tried to strip it out of his burly arms. I almost had it until something hard hit my lip. "Shit Bob, your class of '96 ring cut me. I'm bleeding all over, I can't swim today Bob" "It's class of '92" "Shit, you are old". Then I swam a bitching practice. The end. Feel free to share any past or current monday stories. Word.