I realize that most posts lately have related to swimming, and at first glance this one will too, but I promise you that this issue reaches deeper than doing laps, this is an issue about respect.
Last night at Walled Lake Western High School, our mascot and boy, Walter, was kidnapped. Some punk ass bitches came in through the fire escape door, grabbed the camel, and dashed out the door. The divers, in a case of totally unexpected heroism, sprinted after the perps outside into the arctic abyss wearing their speedos and managed to get the licsense plate of the truck.
So who is Walter? Why is he so important? I'm sad to say that I can't even give you a good awnser. You see, Walter is a plastic camel who has been an integral part of our team for years. Alot of years. Walter has been on the team way, way longer than any else. I suppose that makes him around a six year super senior. He is brought to all our meets and even shows up to some practices. As with most cases, the true history about how Walter first came onto the team has been modified over the years. But this is what is known for sure: About eight to ten years ago, one of the seniors in an act of bravery stole a camel from a nativity scene. I know what you're thinking, and it was the camel okay, not like he stole baby Jesus. Anyways, Walter found his niche on the team until he was kidnapped by Stevenson. Those bitches. Of course we got him back, I guess. Anyways, that was all before my time. But this is the defining moment of my, and others like me, swim season. How we respond to this travesty is...a big deal.
Dually noted by Rich. Although at pratice today he didn't specifically adress the Walter incident, we could tell what he want. "How stupid are these kids? Show up to the San Diego Zoo and start putting their fingers in the cage. They keep messin' with us, and you know what? Someone's gonna get their arm bit off." Just remebering that epic current event style speech makes me crave uncooked red meat.
So let me conclude with a message to the individuals who have done this. You've taunted the tiger. The tiger is pissed. The tiger is gonna bite your goddamn head off. We're the tiger, and we're not leaving our boy behind. Consider yourself warned.
Last night at Walled Lake Western High School, our mascot and boy, Walter, was kidnapped. Some punk ass bitches came in through the fire escape door, grabbed the camel, and dashed out the door. The divers, in a case of totally unexpected heroism, sprinted after the perps outside into the arctic abyss wearing their speedos and managed to get the licsense plate of the truck.
So who is Walter? Why is he so important? I'm sad to say that I can't even give you a good awnser. You see, Walter is a plastic camel who has been an integral part of our team for years. Alot of years. Walter has been on the team way, way longer than any else. I suppose that makes him around a six year super senior. He is brought to all our meets and even shows up to some practices. As with most cases, the true history about how Walter first came onto the team has been modified over the years. But this is what is known for sure: About eight to ten years ago, one of the seniors in an act of bravery stole a camel from a nativity scene. I know what you're thinking, and it was the camel okay, not like he stole baby Jesus. Anyways, Walter found his niche on the team until he was kidnapped by Stevenson. Those bitches. Of course we got him back, I guess. Anyways, that was all before my time. But this is the defining moment of my, and others like me, swim season. How we respond to this travesty is...a big deal.
Dually noted by Rich. Although at pratice today he didn't specifically adress the Walter incident, we could tell what he want. "How stupid are these kids? Show up to the San Diego Zoo and start putting their fingers in the cage. They keep messin' with us, and you know what? Someone's gonna get their arm bit off." Just remebering that epic current event style speech makes me crave uncooked red meat.
So let me conclude with a message to the individuals who have done this. You've taunted the tiger. The tiger is pissed. The tiger is gonna bite your goddamn head off. We're the tiger, and we're not leaving our boy behind. Consider yourself warned.
3 comments:
cops...seriously...way to have a sense of humor
no, i didn't say anthing about cops...cause that wouldn't be funny.
you know what else wouldnt be funny... anything you have ever said or ever will say. Jack Ejected Waldo Suddenly. Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris
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