maybury

On friday afternoon Eric, Mike, and I went to maybury state park for some fun mountain biking. We got there and there were maybe four other cars in the parking lot. Mostly subarus or volkswagons; you know. Anyways, this was our first ride of the season, and we were pumpede to have a beautiful afternoon with an empty park. In fact, we were so pumped that while driving down 8 mile we blasted Van Halen and just hit shit hard along with the beat.

The first part of the trail is mostly uphill and in pretty dense woods, but once we got out of that shiz we started having more fun. Steep descents, big trees, and well groomed trails just made us all happy. So happy that we started yelling expletives through the woods. "Lance Armstrong ain't got shit on me!". "SHIT! TREE!". "Damn that was a big root". You get the idea, but then Mike yelled something distinctive from the back, "SHIT!!!!". Eric and I stopped and he yelled back into the woods, "Mike you all right?". "Fuckin' deer". We both immediately started laughing as Mike rode back into view distressed and frustrated. "I almost hit it, it scared the shit out of me".

We could all feel the adrenaline rush of the near death from deer experience, and I could feel it especially in my legs. I was flying, fast. I felt like Luke Skywalker flying around Hoth in his little speeder, kicking the shit out of the Empire. But anyways, I came around a turn a little too hot, and went to the outside of the trail. In an effort to avoid the giant oak tree on the outside I cut back to the inside, but a little too hard. My left side of the handlebar hit a young maple and immidiately turned my wheel sideways, stopping the bike. The thing is, I didn't stop. I flew over the handlebars and railed my shoulder against that same tree. I came down on my left shoulder completely stretched out on the trail in front of the bike, rubbed with a marinade of dirt. Looking down, my right leg had a couple large scrapes, and there was a curious squid sucker shaped cut on top of my left knee. Wierd stuff happens in the woods. Along with some fun stuff. Word.

sb'08

These are just some highlights from spring break this year in florida, enjoy.

word.

Alaska Week,

Alaska week starts today at 9:00 on discovery channel, and if you want to have any insight into the next few posts, I suggest you watch all 168 hours. This is the real deal, not like shark week or some weak sauce like that. No, no, we're talking 570,833 square miles of pure awesome. Wolves, crab fishing, surviving unneccessarily harsh conditions (cough Bear Grylls cough), snow, its all there. Ohh, and I forgot Mike Roe, the franchise player on this discovery team. Who knows, I may even have an alaska week party, so if you're interested let me know. I'm also trying to organize a polar bear fight so that all of us city folk can appreciate how strong a forehand from a bear is. I'm still talking with the Detroit zoo to work out the details.

The point is, just watch discovery channel sometime this week, it's gonna be awesome. Word.

check it out

weak in the knees

On the beautiful wedsenday afternoon yesterday, I took a nice relaxing bike ride down to grandma's house to enjoy the sunshine and warm weather. All was going excellently until I saw Harry, who called across the street, "Hey Clay, you wanna jump on the trampoline?". "Well sure, Harry. What could possibly go wrong and lead to long term consequences?". Now I happen to be quite a competetive guy; not only with other people but with myself. So after I figured out the backflip and the frontflip, I asked myself, "why not combine them together, Clay?". Well, the backflip was graceful with a perfect landing, but as I entered what would become my death spiral, I though this was perhaps not a good idea. However, that thought would have been much more beneficial say 2 seconds earlier when I wasn't totally inverted and poised to land on my head. Somehow my knee got twisted and now is the size of a grapefruit, but not nearly as flavorful.

To add insult to injury I fell asleep while icing the knee today after school and I think I may have some minor frostbite. Is a white, rock hard patch of skin a good thing? Man do I do a lot of stupid shit. Word.

Did you know, April 14????

Did you know???:

During the first weekend of the firearms whitetail season, the amount of armed hunters in the woods of michigan would be the equivilent to the thrid largest standing army in the world only following those of China and the United States? I guess that makes me a private?

Forget Texas; don't mess with Michigan. Word.

march 18, 2008

That's my birthday! In case you missed it, don't feel bad, I didn't cry too much or anything. In fact, this was probably one of the sweetest b-days yet. Parties, women, Trek 4900 Mountain Bikes, it was all there. The festivities started on the 18th after school in the parking lot, where I hosted an amature bash in spot 250. The only problem was the weather was shitty. Like 50 degrees and that kind of shitty mist that just falls but isn't really raining, you know what I mean. We partied for as solid half an hour and then called it quits. Unfortunately for Harry, the partying/weather was simply too much for his body to handle as he got a fever of like 105 that night or something. Reward is not without risk!

Anyways, the big present was of course the sexy, gorgeously contoured bike. I fell in love with it at first sight, but sadly she didn't feel the same feel. However, the bike and I have worked out our problems and now have a strong friendship, especially when I got flat. That's right, I got a flat tire after riding a grand total of 1.48 miles around grandma's backyard. Apparently thorns/sticks are not good to ride over. In my sudden infactuation with biking I started building a mountain bike path through the woods in the backyard which is halfway done. Knowing me it will stay halfway done the rest of the summer, but let me tell you, its a great first half. I even built a bridge of rotting 2x4s across the creek. The wood rot makes each time across much more dramatic not knowing if you'll make it across in victory or fall into the four inches of icy spring water in painful embarassment.

Another highlight was the party I had on saturday. We had a nearly out of control bonfire, delicious hot dogs, and some great rounds of sardines. If you don't know, sardines is the much more social version of hide and go seek. One person hides and then the rest of the group races to find and hide with them. Mike, Jon, and I hid on the driveway in trash bags and almost suffocated in the 20 minutes it took the girls to find us. Before the party I spent 30 minutes cleaning up all the dog poop in the back yard. I still missed some though, as evidenced by jon's shoe.

I ate my birthday cake in 2 and a half days: delicious. Word.

belated st. patricks day joke

I heard this one in european history as told by mr. dent while he was trying to explain social darwainism. Enjoy:

Well, in his small town everybody knew Patrick as the local drunk. On weekends and even on some weeknights he could probably be found at the local pub complaining to the bartender, sympathizing with the patrons. One night Patrick stayed at the pub particularly late after a particularly hard day of work in his dreary cubicle. He stays until around two o'clock in the morning until he decides to leave the bar and go home before his wife, Kelly, gets too upset with him. But Patrick has had so many drinks that he falls out of his stool and has to crawl to the door. At the exit he tries to prop himself up using the doorway for support but he falls in the mud outside the doorstep. In the rain he drags himself to the bus stop where the driver, noticing Patrick lying near the road stops and opens the door, "Patrick, ya drunk, get in the bus, and hurry!" Patrick tries to use the handles on the three stairs leading into the bus, but again is unable to lift himself. He crawls and finds a seat while the driver takes him to his house. "Patrick, we're here, this is your stop. May God protect you because I 'ave no doubt in me mind that you're wife will be waiting for you. Now get off the bus you drunk!". Again Patrick crawls up the front walk and into the house, quitely opens the front door and stops on the landing inside. Listening intently he hears Kelly's snoring and continues slowly up the stairs until he gets in the bedroom and slides himself into bed.

The next morning as Patrick comes down the stairs to Kelly's freshly made breakfast she yells at him, "Patrick McClaughlin! You were out drinking last night again while I waited for you with dinner for three hours! Three hours Patrick!". He tries to defend himself as he hoists himself into his chair, "How do you know that, woman? I was in bed early last night!". With a suprised look on her face Kelly yells, "Because Patrick, you left your wheelchair at the pub!"