christmas spirit

Before getting to Christmas, I'd like to say 'whoa'. I went a little bit apeshit over the swimmers not being gay a while ago, and if my words made you break down in tears as you read them I sincerely apologize, oops. I guess that's why there's the 24 hour rule, but I came home from practice with a Mt. McKinley sized pile of homework, 3rd world hunger pains, and a 87 year old achy body, I was a bit frustrated.
On a lighter note, Christmas is approaching. Yes,that magical night that baby Jesus was born of the virgin Mary and Joesph in the little town of Bethlehem. So I ask you this, why do people decorate their houses in 'christmas lights'? If anything is a Christmas light its that star that led all the wise men to the manger, not those annoying as hell to hang stringy lights. So why do we do it? Christmas spirit, the same thing that actually powers all of whoville. We pick one freezing, often raining/sleeting/snowing afternoon to put those lights all over our house and trees, often catching a disease that could make this Christmas our last, but if you're gonna die, I suppose decorating for Christmas would be an acceptable way to go. Anyways, it sort of bugs me when I see houses that have obviously had their lights done professionally. You can easily tell, the lights are in most cases perfect. Big and colorful and generally placed along the roofline that gives the appearance of four helicopters being able to land there simultaneously. But doesn't that defeat the purpose of Chrismas lights? I mean hanging those lights and wrapping all that garland is like a giant detox from the rest of the year. Get all that stressful shit out of you, its time for the holidays. So what happens to people that have some crew do their lights? They literally explode from built up stress.
Another thing. Snowmen. I'll be the first to admit that I was more into snowforts than snowmen, generally because I wasn't strong enough to push the giant snowballs that my ego required for a successful snowman, but that's beside the point. I can definately appreciate a good snowman, and besides candy canes, they are the number 1 symbol of December for me. So it drove me crazy to see this giant blow up snowman in this persons front yard the other day. The house is right by my brother's, and I remeber him saying multiple times that he would love to shoot an arrow through that bastard. This thing is huge, probably about 10 feet tall and extra fat with this stupid smiling face with a pipe or something. But the fact that it's smiling while undulating in the frosty december wind while being inflated by some noisy fan just doesn't do it for me. Give me a real snowman any day.

Ohh, and in case you were wondering what to get me for Christmas, here's a list. I'm registered at Cabelas, Bestbuy, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond:

1. Cabela's Big Game Hunter (xbox360)
2. An ant far, preferably the meanest ants you can find
3. Black Hawk attack helicopter for showing terrorism what's up
4. Mini-fridge for my room
5. Survival knife to show bears and terrorism what's up

Remeber kids, go Griswold or go home this year. Word.