swimming update number 1

For this inaugural swimming update, I decided to write a poem expressing my feelings towards my sport:

Swimming

Ballz to the wallz

Warmup kicks my ass

Chest burns, legs numb, shoulders ache, dizzy

Swimming

I took some poetic licence on this one, and hence spilled milk on myself while eating my 4th "snack" since getting back from practice. I don't know what's up, but I constantly feel like I have been hit by one of those Chinese bullet trains. I mean come on. Today my calf cramped up so badly that I couldn't just swim it off, and I could tell that Rich was pissed at me. Today's was by far the hardest practice of the year which is stupid since this was the fourth practice in 2 days. Your body cannot physically adjust to swimming an extra 4,000 yards a day in 12 hours or however often we have practice. I don't give a shit, I'm at home now.

And I would officially like to call all the people out there that say swimmers are gay "assholes". I shouldn't waste my precious breath addressing this, but that assumption is not at all true. It's like saying black people can't swim, or white people can't dance, or asian people are good at math, it's funny the first time, but then its dumb. In fact annoying as shit. We work just as hard if not HARDER than any other team at this school, as shown in our record. Undefeated in 4 years. What other team can say that? None. And you know what? We work so hard that we actually get in shape in a good way, not baseball shape. Just because we have enormous shoulders and tight abs doesn't make us gay. As for showering, that's not gay either. Chlorine smells bad, worse then when you take a dump without the fan on. Doesn't it make sense that we should shower? And we wear speedos at practice, so is it gay that we don't change into a more 'non banana hammock' wardrobe just to shower? If you are an actual friend of mine you know I'm not gay, and my friends on the swim team are the most straight of any teammates I have ever been lucky enough to compete with. So if you still think we're gay, I don't give a shit. I really don't. We're too busy kicking the shit out of our competition. Word.