global warming? have you been outside?

If you don't live in metro detroit there's one thing you need to know: it's cold as balls outside. Sunday was incredibly shitty seeing as how there was a -27 degree windchill and I was quite sure saturday night that my windows were going to blow in leaving me totally defenseless against the hypotheria after 30 seconds outside enducing winds. Luckily the house, much like Minas Tirith, held strong throughout the night and on the seventh day the sunshine of Gandalf the White came over the horizon and made it less miserable. I apologize to anyone who didn't get the LOTR reference.

But I digress, like usual. The point is global warming, while totally backed up by science, is bullshit because its so damn cold outside. "Global Warming" is a direct contradiction if its gonna be this cold, at least before the ensuing ice age is induced by increased greenhouse gas effects which lead to changing of ocean currents. In MRN we were told that the weather was being caused by El Nino. For all of you non spanish speakers out there, El Nino directly translated means "the Christ child". Now I'm not scientist, but it appears that the weather that will kill countless due to cold and has already killed 60 in the South after those tornados was caused by the christ child; a.k.a. God.

Now I realize I haven't been to church in a while and that's totally my fault for being lazy, but c'mon God, -25 degrees is not a great way to motivate people to go and worship, especially when I had a shitload of euro. notes to take. So if you take nothing else out of this, just know that El Nino can go to hell, because it's keeping people from going to church. Word.