throw (off my damn bed) pillows

I just don't understand throw pillows. It's that simple. Throw pillows are like eating the old 96er, totally superfluous and disgusting. I mean they aren't even true pillows: you can't use them. God forbid that I should fall asleep and drool on one of Mom's pillows. I guess they're pretty expensive. But they look so comfortable and inviting; big and soft, and often placed in the most tempting places. The forbidden fruit of interior design.

So after I come home from morning practice, school, afternoon practice, and then after completing my homework that's due the next day, I only want to crawl into my much loved flannel sheets. But wait, I have to get the 4 pillows that I can't use off my bed first. Four (4) pillows that I can't use but still stay on my bed. I should start charging them rent. The part that really gets me is that Louis, one non human member of the family, is totally exempt from the 'no relaxing on the throw' rule. I can't tell you how many times I have climbed the stairs to my room looking forward to the warmth of my room and the softness of my sheets only to find a sleeping, and then angry, cat on the pillows. Have you ever tried to move a sleeping, fully clawed killer cat to which you are allergic? That's what I thought. Throw pillows are dumb. Word.